Merry Christmas from the Past

Tonight, because I do these random things, I googled my daughters birth name.

Wow.

What a shock to find this posting from the Chicago Tribune Archives – online!

I have no memory of writing to the Tribune. I had no idea if it was published, I am guessing it was.

But, oh, god, how my naivete, my koolaid drunken, aching state is obvious. I feel shaky and sick reading it.

Merry Christmas, Wherever You Are.

Crying….

13 Thoughts.

  1. Oh Suz, I don’t know what to say. What a hard thing to find in your wanderings. Hugs to you and to the very young woman who wrote that.

  2. Suz, this breaks my heart. I suspect we all did things we don’t remember, out of pain and trying to make sense of what happened. (((HUGS)))

  3. Hugs to that 19 year old who was convinced that she was not good enough, and to you now.

    You WERE good enough then. As were all of us mothers who once-upon-a-time believed those same things.

    *sigh*

  4. Heart wrenching – made me feel very weepy, I felt all the things that you felt when I relinquished my daughter and spent a life time feeling that I wasn’t good enough. Now I realise that we were good enough then and are good enough now.

  5. The first thought I had was “WOW!” Thanks for sharing that piece of your heart, laid right out there for everyone to see. I hope she has seen it and appreciates that you were doing the best you possibly could for her at the time with the information you were given.

  6. Crying now for that young girl who place her baby for adoption with faith she was doing the best thing, and for the you now, who is still missing Amber Lyn. Hugs to you my friend.

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  8. Holy crap! Reading what you wrote made me dirty pissed. Shame on every stupid person that contributed to your belief back then that you didn’t deserve her. I think I threw up a little in my mouth. Grrrrrrrr. I love you, Rebecca

  9. Oh, my. Oh, my. That is simply too too hard to read, harder still to consider the pain behind the words.

    (((((((Suz)))))))

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