Jenna posted about a Facebook meme that triggered her. Read her post here. I winced for her when I read that post. I have those moments.
In fact, I had one of those moments tonight. Just a minutes ago.
A high school friend had this message as her status:
“Daughter Week !!! ♥ If you have one Daughter or more, who makes your life interesting and fun, Is a blessing in your life and makes life worth living, copy and paste this to your status. ♥ The world would not be the same without our beautiful GIRLS!!! I LOVE MY DAUGHTERS!!”
I winced again. This time for myself.
I hide my adoption status, my scarlet letter, parts of myself from Facebook. I am not proud of this but I am not necessarily ashamed either. It is just that I want somewhere, anywhere, that I don’t have to think all adoption all the time. Many of my Facebook friends are readers here and even friends there. And yet I steer clear of adoption there. It is my private play ground. A place for silly statuses, photos, dialogue with friends. It is me without the horror of adoption. It is me not weeping daily over the loss of my daughter, over her lack of interest in me and her first family, it is me, being, well, happy.
Tonight? Me? Not so happy about Facebook and its random triggers. (Remember THIS one? I was able to correct that).