Comments on: This No Contact Thing

By: susiebook

susiebook — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 08:19:20 +0000

First stipulating that of course I don’t know your daughter and that you’re in the best place to make a decision: if it were me, I’d write her a birthday card and then put it in a drawer. I’d make a cake, light candles, and then share it with friends. I’d not cross the boundary that she’s put in place, but I’d still honor the day–like you said, it’s a special day for you, as well, and you deserve the opportunity to celebrate it.

By: Denise

Denise — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 00:54:52 +0000

Suz, now that you mention it… I think there may be a double standard in terms of bparents (especially moms) and adoptees when it comes to refusing reunion and/or setting boundaries in the relationship. Perhaps I have had one. Whenever I’ve heard about a mom “rejecting” their son/daughter, I say, or at least think, “how could she turn her back on her child?” I’ve met women who have confided that they gave up a child and hope never to be contacted, would refuse even to talk to or meet them, and thought that was so wrong, that they at least owe them their history. On the other hand, when I’ve met adoptees who don’t want to search and find, I’ve only felt sad (being a mom myself and glad that I found, regardless of the result). I respect their wishes, while not so much the mothers’. I still question my own decision to no longer tolerate the abuse.

As with most situations, there’s no “one size fits all” and shouldn’t be judgements about decisions when we don’t know the full story.

By: KimKim

KimKim — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 21:46:03 +0000

I love Lady Gaga! She’s my piano playing hero. Love Missy Higgins too. I just got a new (2nd hand) Yamaha YUS piano and I play it all the time. So happy with it.

I love Queen too. I love playing bits of Bohemian Rhapsody.

Got some free time tomorrow I intend to play lots of piano. Now that’s got me all curious about Lady Gaga sheet music.