The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose – Richard Leider
Thank you Jenna for the writing prompt. It has been sitting in the back of my mind as I have been stewing over this and debating if I wanted to share this, and if I did, could I do it with the appropriate amount of erm, respect.
Your recent post about life's purpose reminded me of a conversation I had very recently with a member of my family.
Family member and I were at a McDonald's. My two sons and several of their cousins sat at a table behind family member and I.
We were discussing some friends of mine, facebook additions, and other recent happenings. During the conversation, I checked my facebook via my iPhone to show family member the profile of someone we were discussing. Much to my surprise that very person had messaged me and was inquiring about a page I posted (The Girls That Went Away). Facebook friend was asking about the book as get this, she is adopted and recently in reunion. I had no idea friend was adopted (I have known her since she was about 7) and I gasped when I read the message.
This leads into family member and I discussing how I seem to find adoption around every corner and people are drawn to me (or me to them). Additional discussions were held regarding the work I do and have done and the incredibly high number of strange coincidences that have occurred in my life since I lost my daughter to a baby broker.
Family members states that in family members opinion these odd messages, coincidences are proof that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. They are messages from some higher power enforcing my efforts and urging me to continue (even when I want to run as fast as I can in the other direction).
This conversation content leads to a discussion of life purpose and having ones life make a difference. Family member believes that we are all put here for a reason and in their opinion I was put here to help those torched by adoption.
I was not able to agree with that for a multitude of reasons, most notably that the argument might imply I was put here by someones god to have a baby and give it away, and well, homey don't play that thought game. Regardless, I let family member statement stand and did not debate. I did however say that I am confident that my life HAS made a difference. I take pride in those that I have helped. How many people at 40 can say they know, without a doubt, their life made a marked difference in the lives of others?
I can. I am not bragging or tooting my own horn. It is fact and that makes me feel good.It makes my pain somehow oddly worth it. I made lemonade from lemons and used the pain and horror of losing my first born child in a positive manner.
Family member agrees and in speaking of the value of their own life, they say that their life made a difference because they are related to me and since I do what I do, they can essentially take credit and comfort in that as well.
WHOA! Hold the freaking phone here and insert huge screeching tire noise or the sound of a needle being dragged across a record.
Did family member just say that their life is worth more because of what I did or do? Is that legal? Can you mooch off of someone else's life work and claim it your own?
I choked on my diet coke at the sentiment but did not question the family member. I was disgusted, annoyed, etc.
For this statement opened a world of wounds to me. Family member contributes to the loss of my daughter to adoption then stakes claim to all I do to prevent it from happening to others?
I will take one serving of WTF please.
Better yet, make it a double.