Please Read This

"Why would anybody who was raised in a loving home be unhappy about being adopted?" asks Gershom, an adoptee, in her recent blog post.

You must read the entire post. 

Really.

Please go.

Now.

Still not sure? Below is an excerpt from it.

"Adoption isn’t doing anything for humanity. It isn’t helping end third world poverty, it isn’t helping children with AID’s it isn’t reducing the number of children in orphanages, it isn’t reducing the number of children who are being surrendered, it is only helping the adoptive parents get the child they wanted. It is a consumer driven industry that has been built off of the trauma separation and loss of mother and child and father. It is creating unnecessary loss and separation in thousands of families. It is raping people of their ancestry, culture, history and self. It is violating the sense of family too many are advocating for the preservation of in my state of California right now for diff. reasons, but i’m bitter about that too so I’ll throw in my disgust of proposition 8 in as well."  – Why would anybody who was raised in a loving home be unhappy about being adopted?, Anti-Adoption blog

Read the entire post at the authors blog here.

3 Thoughts.

  1. And as an adoptee, it creates a life-long fear of abandonment that seems impossible to heal. This is my biggest life challenge.
    I’m not anti-adoption. My home sounded much like this writer’s. Not perfect, but I turned out okay. But I can’t shake that inner fear of abandonment. And as the writer wrote about, a mother’s grief over infertility effects the adopted child — in my case emphasizing the fear of loss. My amom had 12 miscarriages and a stillborn son before she started adopting us (4 of us). My dad said that experience of loss changed her into a bitter, distrustful, angry person. We grew up with that — rarely a day went by when there wasn’t yelling in our home.
    I would never say this to my aparents because I love them dearly, but there is a BIG hole inside of me — the hole where I was ripped from my mother’s arms and place into the arms of another. A void that if I even think about, brings tears to my eyes. There are no words because I was a baby, but I know the ultimate grief of losing a parent, of feeling disconnected, of never feeling like I belonged.
    I better stop now because then I’ll really start crying and then I’ll get no work done this morning…

  2. ((((Bonnie)))I have that void too, that void is uncureable by adoption. Adoption can never heal the loss of the mother, the primal connection all infants have. Regardless of why they were surrendered that loss is core.
    My mother also has that loss. From losing me. It will never heal in her, both of us break and I mean BREAK when we hear children crying for their mother.
    Just today in my children’s pre=school a mother dropped her off and was walking away and her daughter was screaming NO, DON’T LEAVE ME” screaming it over and over at the top of her lungs. I had to excuse myself and go cry in the other room. i cannot handle children crying for their mothers anywhere. It devastates me to my marrow in my spine.
    Losing a child and / or mother isn’t natural, its not what is supposed to happen. Our bodies weren’t programed to heal from that loss. Sure we can survive it, but we’re never the same again.
    (((thanks suz for posting this )))

  3. I will never get the people who can’t get it. Thanks for posting this, Suz.

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