If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves. – Carl Jung
What is that saying?
The more things change the more they stay the same? Or perhaps I should say the more things change the more they stay insane?
My mother informed me a bit ago, quite proudly in fact, that she donated to an unwed mothers home today. Yes, you read that right. An unwed mothers home.
"Standing outside the church doors today there were ladies collecting for an unwed mothers home" she said with a tone that implied she wanted either a medal or a chest to pin it on.
"You didn't donate, did you?" I asked.
"Of course I did. And Father Lynch, you know I adore him, talked all about it during mass. He encouraged everyone to reach deep into their pockets to help those unwed moms." she continued.
"Oh my god, Mom, what kind of home? Where is it? What type of counseling do they provide? Are they for or against family preservation?" I asked rather strongly.
"Oh, I don't know. I was just glad I could donate" she responded.
I was fuming. Inside my own head I heard Dana Carvey in his best church lady impression. I wanted badly to say it to my mom "Well, isn't that special?"
I said nothing.
I knew it would be pointless. My mother has obviously tolerated me and my work for years. She still believes in spite of all the research and words and proof and agony I have shared with her that it is good for a mother to abandon her child to strangers. She still believes that crap about homes helping mothers. She still believes my child is better off without me.
She doesn't get it.
Even after all these years and all our conversations, she still thinks that is a good idea to send mothers away and to lock them up.
I was so incensed I could not even speak to her.
It may be a few days before I can.