Politics, Racism, Religion and My Family

"Aha! And yet remarkable solutions to seemingly impossible problems often occur in these moments of clarity. It’s what gurus call higher consciousness. Biologists call it altered states. Psychologists call it super-sentience. And Christians call it answered prayer. Sometimes, divine relation simply means adjusting your brain to hear what your heart already knows."  – Leonardo Vetra

Spending time with my father is generally a cause for some degree of pain.  Today it was exceptional. I visited my parents as my mother offered to watch my small men while I attended a purse party given by a friend.  I spent less than an hour with my father and came treacherously close to wanting to slit my throat after doing so.

I don't know how or why but the upcoming election came up in conversation. As reported previously, my parents are not the most educated, well informed individuals. They support primarily  white conservatives. How surprising. My father ran off at the mouth about Obama being an Iraqi, seeing him with a turban on, not having enough experience to lead. I countered with the state of the country and how well the Republicans had been doing for us all the past eight years. I reminded my father of the current financial crisis, the fact that my company stock (including my own 401K) plummeted in recent weeks (maybe if I made it more personal and close to home he might have a different view), war,  military, McCain, Palin and more.

He would hear none of it. He yammered on incoherently in words and thoughts that made absolutely no sense. Expressions that I am even embarrassed to write here as well, this is my gene pool. Not comforting. 

I know, truly know, what is at the core of my fathers dislike of Obama – his skin color. There is no question in my mind that this what truly bothers my father. If Obama were white, his alleged lack of leadership skills would not be an issue. If his name was Joe Johnson and he was white, my dad would likely be all over him.  Even more so if he name was Stosh Polishguyoski. That would be utopia for my dad. A Polish Catholic in the big old White House. Praise the Lord!

But Obama is half black and my father is 100% racist.

I left the living room the instant I heard my mother arrive at the back door.

She greets with me with a smile and a kiss on the cheek and begins to tell me how much she loves her current priest.

I scan the kitchen for a sharp blade. Throat slitting might be in order after all.

I smile back at her, busying myself by rummaging through her cabinets looking for cookies and hoping I find them and not communion wafers.  Behind me, she continues on about Father Lynch and how her friend Marion invites everyone over to  her house after Mass for bagels and coffee and a discussions of the sermon.

"Do you have any diet coke?" I ask.

"What? Yeah, in the fridge. On the door" my mother responds. "Don't you think that is wonderful of Marion to host everyone after Mass?" she asks.

"Um, yeah, sure. If you enjoy it, thats great for you." I respond. Secretly I couldn't care less about Marion and her bagels but I do wonder if she still wears that horrid blue eyeshadow she wore when I was a kid.

My father enters the room and asks what we are talking about. I continue to rummage for cookies. I figure if I am lucky  and I don't find any I can at least squish myself into the cabinet and avoid further talk of Jesus and Obama.

"Oh, I was telling Susan how great Father Lynch is. I just adore him." my mother answers my father.

"Oh, please, you and that church talk. Does it ever end?" dad responds. 

I smirk behind the oak cabinet door.

My sons come bounding into the room and my father teases my youngest about not saying hello when he arrived. My oldest joins the cookie hunt with me. I realize this could be the perfect time to leave.

I check my iPhone for the time.

1:11.

I gasp and show the phone to my oldest son. 

He smiles and laughs.

"Tell Gramma that story" he says.

And so I do.

For the past two months or more, every single time I look at a time source (usually my phone or computer) the time is always three identical digits. It 1:11, or 2:22 or 3:33 or 4:44 or 5:55. It happened a few times in a row and I was amused but it has been happening consistently for two months now. I started to get a bit freaked.

I explain the situation to my mother and she gives me this sideways, kinda, knowing smile. The kinda smile she gets when she thinks we are in the presence of Jesus or some magical force. 

I ponder how far I should take this conversation.

"So, I googled it. It freaked me out. I wanted to know if anyone else had ever experienced this. Maybe I have weird brain tumor that causes me to look at the clock only when it is triple digit time." I say half jokingly.

"What did google say?" asks my mother.

"Oh, not much. I found one yahooo answer that said it meant guardian angels were trying to send you a message" I say with laughter.

"Uh, huh. And what are they trying to tell you? Are you listening?" Mom asks with that same god-is-telling-you-something tone in her voice.

"Mom, its just a freak coincidence.  Its unsettling me, yeah, but guardian angels? Who would be my angels? Should we call Father Lynch?" I say before I squeal in delight over the vanilla wafers I found. Wafers, but not communion wafers, thankfully.

"I need to go mom. I should be at L's house by now." I say as I take out my iPhone once again and use the maps utility to get directions to my friends house.

I press the little locater icon on the bottom left of my phone to have the service find where I currently am. I then enter my friends address.

A few seconds later the phone returns the directions.

I am begin to review them and find myself confused.

"Whaaa" I start to say.

"What?" my mother asks.

"Mom, this is weird. My phone decided I was on Eleanor Street. Isn't that kinda spooky? Its usually always exact. Its never been wrong. Why did it find me on Eleanor street? I did not even know there was an Eleanor Street in town."

At this point my mother gasps. A few moments later she is able to speak.

"There is your angel." she says with a sly smile.  "Keep listening. They are trying to tell you something"

"Oh, mah, come on. Strange, I agree but really…" I say with an attempt to deny what she is suggesting.

My  mothers deceased sister and mother were both named Eleanor. There is a great deal of family legend surrounding odd paranormal events occurring around my mothers sister and her death.

My mother sits there smugly and says "God is trying to tell you something, Suz. Are you listening?".

"Oh boy, I gotta go."  I say with an eye roll as I leave through the back door.

"Listen, Sue, listen to what the angels are trying to tell you" my mothers voice bellows from behind me as the doors closes with a low screech.

13 Thoughts.

  1. Having been raised Jewish, I’m not any sort of church goer, let alone believer in Jesus as Messiah, but I have to say I agree with your mom on this one. I believe very strongly in the presence of angels. Having almost died, I have some of those kinds of stories which I have personally experienced.
    As for series of numbers, according to Doreen Virtue (http://www.angeltherapy.com/), this is what they mean:
    111 — Monitor your thoughts carefully, and be sure to only think about what you want, not what you don’t want. This sequence is a sign that there is a gate of opportunity opening up, and your thoughts are manifesting into form at record speeds.
    222 — Our newly planted ideas are beginning to grow into reality. Keep watering and nurturing them, and soon they will push through the soil so you can see evidence of your manifestation. In other words, don’t quit five minutes before the miracle. Your manifestation is soon going to be evident to you, so keep up the good work! Keep holding positive thoughts, keep affirming, and continue visualizing.
    333 — The Ascended Masters are near you, desiring you to know that you have their help, love, and companionship. Call upon the Ascended Masters often, especially when you see the number 3 patterns around you. Some of the more famous Ascended Masters include: Jesus, Moses, Mary, Quan Yin, and Yogananda.
    444 (my personal favorite) — The Archangels are surrounding you now, reassuring you of their love and help.
    555 — Buckle your seatbelts. A major life change is upon you. This change should not be viewed as being “positive” or “negative,” since all change is but a natural part of life’s flow. Perhaps this change is an answer to your prayers, so continue seeing and feeling yourself being at peace.
    You can read more here: http://www.1111angels.net/content/view/11/25/
    Clearly you are well protected from above!
    I LOVE the archangels. Both my kids are named after Archangels.
    From your Woo-Woo friend. 🙂

  2. You have me pinned to my seat reading this one :). Thank the Good Lord for your family and your treasure of sharing. Your parents seem awesome not racist but I suppose I don’t know them.

  3. Maria – My parents, like most of us, are products of their environment. They were raised very conservative, catholic, ethnocentric, hard working, struggling people. They have their kooky views for sure. After some time with them, you learn how to navigate their judgemental waters fairly well.

  4. Heh, regarding politics, my FIL is a die-hard Democrat. I am one who votes not a straight ticket but for where I feel my heart leads me (and I never vote and tell!). It drives him nuts and in my own evil way, I love to bait him with the conversation. Anyway, my FIL is also, it sounds like, similar to your father in his beliefs about skin color, and I’ll add gender. How fun it was during the primary to try to pin him down on who he would vote for, a black man, a woman or a Republican!
    I know you’ve said numerous times you aren’t religious, but isn’t the idea of God/Angels/etc speaking to us through our cell phones just a little too much fun to pass up? If they were talking to me, which they are decidedly NOT right now, I think I’d give them the benefit of the doubt cause I can use all the help I can get, most days.
    🙂

  5. M2R – Yes, you are indeed correct. My father also feels the same with gender. When I poked at him about Palin, he told me she did not matter since the VP never does anything anyway.

  6. Suz: Why is it not possible that you have been given a special gift? While you may fight the idea your parents are eccentric with angels, etc. I think your mom knows you are special. From what I know of you, people seek you out because they see this. I think you fight this thought if you would in silence listen you will hear. The closer you get to it the more levels you will rise. What it is? I believe it is spiritual. Embrace it Suz, not everyone has it.
    As far as the political situation. Too bad we cant start the whole campaign over again. Which one can be the best leader for this country at this time? God help us all.

  7. I’ve only been reading your blog a short time, but love it. You write well and with compassion.
    I am older but come from a similar background to yours, granddaughter of immigrants, Polish and Irish working class. You should have seen my Mom when they elected the Polish Pope:-)And even I always had a soft spot for him even when disagreeing with some of his policies, because he looked like my Polish grandpa.
    I’m sorry to hear your Dad is a bigot. I was fortunate that my parents, who are now gone, were not, and had they been here would have happily voted for Obama. They were in some ways very liberal for their times, despite being life-long Catholics and conservative in other ways (Like how to deal with a pregnant unwed daughter:-(
    Don’t know what to say about the cell phone message thing as I tend to shift back and forth from skeptic/agnostic to religious/superstitious. Must be my peasant Catholic heritage, but I would be freaked out by the “messages” too. My late Mom’s name was Eleanor.
    Keep writing!

  8. I understand the frustration with the bigotry,I live smack-center of redneck territory.
    I guess it should not have surprized and shocked me so much when the custom made Obama sign I put in my front yard Thursday, was already stolen by Saturday…but it did. (I will email you a pic, it was beautiful!)
    As far as the angels…well I know you do not believe so much, but I tend to agree with one of your other readers (and your mom) that someone (from the other side?)is trying to tell you something. I have had far too many experiences myself, much more extreme and defined, to not believe.
    I hope what ever news that whom ever is trying to send you, its all good!

  9. Your parents and my parents would get along. Enough said.
    I am not sure there are angels, but there is a poltergeist in my house. Suddenly in the middle of the night my daughter’s toys will start playing their music sometimes. Creepy.
    BTW Bonnie – what does 666 mean? I was so excited to see that one, but you stopped at 555. 🙁

  10. Brad, here are the other ones:
    666 — Your thoughts are out of balance right now, focused too much on the material world. This number sequence asks you to balance your thoughts between heaven and earth. Like the famous “Sermon on the Mount,” the angels ask you to focus on spirit and service, and know your material and emotional needs will automatically be met as a result.
    777 — The angels applaud you…congratulations, you’re on a roll! Keep up the good work and know your wish is coming true. This is an extremely positive sign and means you should also expect more miracles to occur.
    888 — A phase of your life is about to end, and this is a sign to give you forewarning to prepare. This number sequence may mean you are winding up an emotional career, or relationship phase. It also means there is light at the end of the tunnel. In addition, it means, “The crops are ripe. Don’t wait to pick and enjoy them.” In other words, don’t procrastinate making your move or enjoying fruits of your labor.
    999 — Completion. This is the end of a big phase in your personal or global life. Also, it is a message to lightworkers involved in Earth healing and means, “Get to work because Mother Earth needs you right now.”
    000 — A reminder you are one with God, and to feel the presence of your Creator’s love within you. Also, it is a sign that a situation has gone full circle.

  11. Most of us would be lying if we said there’s no racism in our families – heck, most of us would be lying if we denied we ourseved have displayed racist behavior, even if we profess ourselves to be otherwise. Although I know it’s painful for you to have to deal with your father, at least you know where he stands and can be prepared for it, to avoid or confront it.
    Whew, those times are spooky. But Eleanor Street is just a geopositioning issue. I’m guessing if your aunt and grandmother wanted to reach you, it wouldn’t be by cell phone 🙂 Very interesting all the same!

  12. I get 22’s like crazy. Everywhere. 22:22 puts me over the top. I think it is a sign for “reformers” to get ready to step up. It’s a sign of justice.

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