OT: BAT!

"Creatures that hang themselves up like an old rag, to sleep;
And disgustingly upside down.
Hanging upside down like rows of disgusting old rags
And grinning in their sleep.
Bats!  – D.H. Lawrence

I have heard of bats in your belfry but your china cabinet?

Yes, for those that saw my facebook status, it is true. As I write this there is a medium sized brown bat stuck in my china cabinet. I have NO freaking idea how it got in there since the doors are always closed and close tightly. I am not sure if there is a hole above or below it. This china cabinet is built into the wall. This unit I live in is an older home (circa 1920).

I am freaking out. I feel nauseas and like I might vomit.

It was my cat, Stewie, who drew my attention to it. Frankly, the bat has been there for at least 48 hours since the cat has been freaking out about the china cabinet for two days. I just failed to look into it. I thought the cat saw an ant or something. I was yelling at him to get away and I blocked the cabinet. I never looked further.

This a.m. as I sat at my dining room table corresponding with a friend in Sweden the cat begins to freak out again. From my seated vantage point I look over and see something small and brown struggling in one of my Mikasa crystal glasses. On first glance, it looked like a small frog. I am amused and confused wondering how a small frog got into my china cabinet. Being a mother of two boys, nothing gross really surprises me. I look closer and realize it is a BAT! I screech. My sons, seated in the living room, jump up. My eleven year old son thinks its cool and is amazed and my 5 year old begins to cry and scream (likely picking up on moms hysteria since this is the boy that is usually the grossest and dirtiest and will pick up bugs).

I am in a tizzy. My oldest is calling his father. My youngest is crying. I feel vomit in my throat.

Go ahead and laugh but I.HATE.CREATURES. I once lived in a roach infested apartment in Chicago. After waking one night to find a roach crawling on my cheek, I decided it was time to move. My last house had problems with woodpeckers – one actually – a very hungry one. The freaking thing chowed on my cedar shingles up until the day I sold it. We also had field mice in the attic regularly.

RODENTS, CREATURES, BUGS GROSS ME THE EFF OUT.

I am not super girly girl but when it comes to that stuff I am a total wimp. I think I might get married again just to have someone to deal with those nasty critters.

I am not getting it out. No. Seriously. I am not doing it. I will pay anyone significant money to come and get this possibly rabies carrying piece of nastiness out of my built in china cabinet. I will even pay them to them wash all my Mikasa and Lennox.

(Ooh, it just fluttered behind me).

I sent a text to my ex and I believe he is coming over. I have no freaking idea how he will get it out. I don’t care. Just get it out.

I will then write my landlord and ask her to have her handyman Russ come look at the place for holes or other. I have a fireplace in the dining room. It could have come in that way? But how, dear friends, did it get in the closed china cabinet?

I feel sick.

5 Thoughts.

  1. One time we had a bat, I was so freaked out by it I made Shane get rid of it. He ran around the house as it flew from room to room trying to throw a sheet over it. He finally got it outside. Yes today I can laugh about it, but that day I was screaming and crying. Yep Shane sure did look funny running from room to room with that sheet :)~ Hugs!!!

  2. Kristy – This made me laugh. First, the bat is gone. My ex came over and took care of it for me. Thank golly. Second, this is the second time I have had a bat in a home. In my first home, nearly 12 years ago we had one. It was in our bedroom. We were alseep in the bed and my ex heard it. HE freaked out that time but then got up, in his tightie whities and danced around the room trying to catch it. He got it out into the hallway, then took a screen out from the hallway window, got the bat on the screen and released it. The image of my 260 lb ex husband in his tighty whities dancing around is forever amusing.

  3. As I learned after a horrible couple of months… bats can squeeze in through a crack as small as a quarter of an inch. In fact, the smaller the hole they squeeze through, the safer they feel.
    I’m shuddering right along with you. We had bats flying around our house every second night or so over most of the summer. Putting them out was useless; they’d simply find their way back in. I sure am glad it’s too cold for them now, and I’m hoping we’ve sealed all the holes to prevent them returning in the spring.
    ick!

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