Heres to You (and me), Mama2Roo

"Be who you are, say what you feel. Because those who matter, don’t mind. And those who mind, don’t matter." -Dr. Seuss

Mama2Roo would be so proud of me.

I thought of her today. She came to me in a flash as I exited my car and began the long walk down my driveway.

I have historically kept this blog adoption related only. Yeah, my grief, my trauma, my regret, my actions, bits (and I mean only tiny bits) of my story. Being a new media person professionally, I am pretty hardcore about keeping a blog – topical. In this case, this blog is adoption based. I used to have several nonsense blogs but wondered really, who cares about the silly crap I do in my day to day life? Do you care that I ran out of cat food today and my poor kitty had to wait eight hours before I was home with food?(Please don’t call PETA). Does anyone learn anything by me complaining that for the past week I have spent more time than I care to editing audio files for a CBT on the Capability and Maturity Model (CMMI)? I am going to guess not. Or even better, how about the fact that I have piles of dirty laundry in my bedroom and a sink full of dishes to do? Ooh, ooh, how about the fact that I am currently addicted to Leona Lewis "Bleeding Love" and I play OneRepublic over and over again. No? How about if I told you I would love to have sex with Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs? Yeah, I figured as much.

However, tonight, for some odd reason it occurred to me that by writing only about my angst over my adoption and my views on the multimillion dollar American adoption industry you are likely getting a very one-sided view of me. Depending on your position in the triad-that-really-isn’t-a-triad you could find me bitter, angry, supportive, bipolar, manic depressive, annoying, neurotic, well intentioned, intuitive, totally off my rocker and more.

You know what? I don’t want that to be the view people have of me or ANY first mother struggling with adoption induced PTSD. I am so much more than what happened to me.

  • I am a great mother to my sons.
  • I have fabulous sons.
  • I am still nearly best friends with my ex husband (though rather glad he is my ex).
  • I am incredibly creative and artistic though it is expressed in non standard ways (my home decor, my hair coloring, my tattoos, some of my writing)
  • I recently applied to be a Big Sister.
  • I am the Newsletter Editor for Origins-USA.
  • I am the founder of an AWESOME group known as ehbabes.
  • I suffer from IBS and am lactose intolerant.
  • I bite my nails.
  • I love jewelry. I wear toe rings, and thumb rings and my nose is pierced as is my upper ear. I love baubles! Cheap, expensive, handmade, you name it.
  • I love my green eyes.
  • I have cankles.
  • I only recently learned to loved my big boobies.
  • I love to travel. I have been to France, Crete, Santorini, Monaco, St. Lucia, Japan, Israel. I have a unused ticket to Ireland.
  • I know pieces of many languages but don’t speak any single one (other than English) fluently.
  • I want to learn Esperanto.
  • My life long dream has been to write a book (or two).
  • I studied English and Creative Writing at Columbia College – Chicago. I did not graduate. I loved that school and that city and dream of moving back there and finishing. (I got lured by a software company to start tech writing and dropped out to get paid really well. I have never regretted it. I have a good career and still get paid well. I just want to finish to well, finish. It is an ego thing.)
  • I still love my daughters father. I always will.
  • I am struggling with the idea of dating because I feel I have WAAAAY too much baggage and who wants that? However, my friend Joe, the aDad I dated briefly, keeps me hopeful that there are men out there that would tolerate a woman with as much baggage (and boobs) as I carry. Thank you Joe.

I could go on but my point should be obvious (here is where the Mama2Roo connection comes in). I am going to begin to share a bit more NON adoption material. Hopefully I wont bore you to death and if I do, feel free to pipe up.

Oh, right, Mama2Roo. M2R and I once traded blog comments about me not writing anything but adoption. I told her I couldn’t. I tried. I think I did a post on a toaster oven but adoption still invaded even that post.

So, yeah, heres to M2R!

9 Thoughts.

  1. 🙂 You made me smile, Suz. I really do like hearing about the other stuff going on with you and others I read, but so benefit from reading all your adoption related work as well.
    Still can’t believe you have an UNUSED ticket to Ireland (you are planning to go, right??)

  2. As a natural mother, I read your blog for inspiration, companionship, understanding, and education. Your words often touch my soul so deeply that I’m moved to tears. I have passed along your blog to my classmates who are researching the corrupt adoption market and I’ve used some of your quotes to describe my own feelings–but I’ve never written you until today. And why today? Because, I, too, would like to make passion love to Mike Rowe.
    Suz you are an amazing women and your words, your essence, shines so bright. This may seem corny but you have been a beacon of light on some of my dark, dark days.
    Jill

  3. I already loved you and your words, and now I love you more. Here’s to letting ourselves be more than first moms! Here’s to being the woman that we were intended to be! You inspire me.
    Guess I’d better check out Mike Rowe…

  4. Whether you write adoption or not, there is always something to learn from you. You are my first stop every day. And, oddly today the word “cankle” I never thought about it. Although, whatever bothers others is never funny. Selfish as we are we think we are the only ones with imperfections. I am very skinny with pidgeon legs. I hide them with long pants and its 108 degrees rt now.
    Nothing corny about the beacon of light,Jill. She is. And we have some great new energy here!

  5. I like this idea too.
    It is one of the things that we have trouble reconciling – who we know we truly are and who we were or were convinced we were back then.
    Write on, I’ll still be reading whether it’s about adoption or not.
    Kris

  6. Nervously delurking to say I have no position in the triad, I’m here because I am a woman trying to make sense of the life that has brought me this far and wondering where I’m going next.
    I find comfort here.
    You are quite an inspiration.
    DawnA

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