Phoenix Rising

"It’s best to have failure happen early in life. It wakes up the Phoenix bird in you so you rise from the ashes." – Ann Baxter

I am working from home today. It is the start of a long weekend and many employees in my office are on vacation. I had no meetings and plenty of work to do so I decided to be remote.

Right now classical music (violin) is floating in my front windows from somewhere in the neighborhood. I am not sure if it is recorded or if someone is practicing. It is quite lovely. I don’t want to put on my headphones to continue editing the supremely boring wav files I have to slice and dice for a CBT I am developing. I would much rather listen to the faint sound of violins. Another option is Leona Lewis. I am addicted to her "Bleeding Love".

I have been avoiding this audio editing like one would avoid the bubonic plague. I need to learn the program (goldwave) and then I need to take four large wav files and slice them into a bunch of small ones and synch them up with slides. Not fun. I am struggling with the program. I wonder if there is an easier one I can buy and use?

I also have a newsletter to write and layout and a logo to design. Got any suggestions for visual imagery for the word Confluence? This is the name of my department newsletter.

Oh, wait, adoption, right, this is my adoption blog.

So yeah, I wrote to my daughter last night (I knew the words would come) and proposed a contact schedule. Also asked her if she had any organizations she would like me to donate to in lieu of sending her gifts. I told her if I don’t hear back from her (approving the contact schedule or other feedback), I will move ahead with my own idea of the scholarship in honor of her and also contact her around Christmas.

I feel good about it all. So good in fact, I am about to put another relationship in order. This is a toughie. Tougher in some ways than my relationship with my daughter. However, it has been hanging around me for years, draining me and giving little back. I have been avoiding dealing with it, the pain of letting it go.

Time to move on so I can move forward.

I would like to enroll in school in the fall (new media and communications stuffs) and also make some serious progress on my book. I am still struggling with autobiographical fiction or memoir? My sense is that the autobiographical fiction approach will have a wider reach. More on that in another post.

For now, as my LiveJournal ID indicates, I am a phoenix rising from the ashes and reaching for the sky.

3 Thoughts.

  1. I can hear your words changing with conviction, perhaps finding some peace in an extremely difficult situation. Suz, you are a wonderful, incredibly talented woman and a truly loving mother. Have some fun, maybe take a trip (you’ve got a bed in Illinois if you get out this way :). You have made it through a tough year and here you are a “rising phoenix”. I am in awe of you girlie.
    Hugs & Love Always,
    Kristy

  2. as a fellow phoenix, i encourage you to keep spreading your wings. you did not come this far to collapse into a pile of ashes.
    and besides, california is burning down around us. we need some life to escape the fires. i hope you receive positive contact from her. the more good news around here, the better…..

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