“Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness” – Richard Carlson
It is well known I am stressed.
I have too much going on in my life and way too much stuff in my head.
I am having to once again push back on various projects. I am consumed with worry about a million things (the house sale, my trip to Ireland, getting my passport replaced in time, money, adoption and more).
If I needed any more obvious signs, I got it yesterday.
I am producing a video for work. It is an 8 minute segment that features a number of our executives, project managers and business partners. It is pretty high end.
The first of two tapings were scheduled for yesterday. My "actors" were scheduled back to back for 5 hours. Half hour sessions. They were being shot on a green screen and I was to be off camera, interviewing them.
I spent weeks arranging the details, meeting with the production crew, the actors, prepping them on little details like don’t wear green (it will disappear on the green screen). I wrote the brief. I wrote the interview questions, scripted the flow. Things were going well.
The problem arose when my husband had to leave town for a week on business thereby wreaking mild havoc with my childcare and work schedule.
My children cannot be dropped off at school until 8:30 a.m. My first taping started at 8:00 a.m. I had a production crew arriving at five to set up lights, cameras, etc.
I arranged with my boss for her to back up me until I got there. I could arrive at 8:45. This would mean she would conduct 1.5 of the interviews.
Unfortunately, her boss disagreed. She wanted ME there. I am the creative person, the producer. She was right of course. So we moved some appointments around so that I would only miss 15 minutes of the first one.
The crew and my two bosses would cover for me.
And THIS is where losing my head comes in.
I drop the kids off. I get to work. Park in the satellite lot. Hop the shuttle and off I go to the taping. It all goes well. I feel proud and encouraged. We will have a fine product in the end. I am anxious to see the rough footage and start the editing process.
I get back to my desk and feel like I am missing something. I rustle through my purse and attache and realize I don’t have my car/house keys. I panic a teeny bit but don’t have the time in my day to address at that time.
Four o’clock rolls around and I start to stress. On a corporate property with 10 buildings, thousands of employees, it could be a disaster if someone picked them up.
I take the shuttle back to my car thinking I left them there. The car is locked. It is pouring rain. I am pondering what I will do. How will I pick up the kids? Cab? How will we get into the house? Hotel?
I take the shuttle back to the office and approach security. They refer me to the main security office.
I am greeted by VERY LARGE sumo sized Hispanic man with a great smile. I inquire about keys. I describe them. Big smile appears on his face.
He turns around, takes an envelope off a shelf and produces my keys.
Security in the satellite lot turned them in.
Oh no, I did not drop them. Did not lose them. Did not forget them.
I LEFT MY FREAKING CAR RUNNING. I got out of my car, grabbed my laptop, my purse, and got on the shuttle. All the while the red two door accord was running!!!
Security noted it, turned it off, locked it and turned in my keys.
WHO DOES THAT? WHAT the hell kind of stress is in my life that I get out of my car and leave it running and don’t know it??
Mr. Large Smiley Sumo Security man is chuckling up a storm. I am quite confident that the entire security staff is belly laughing about the big breasted freaky haired red head that leaves her car running. I am pretty sure they snicker as they walk past me now.
- Slow down.
- Get help.
- Get back up keys made.
- Make some friends (other than my ex husband I have NO support where I live and work. All friends and family are sixty miles away)
- Try sleep once in a while. I hear it is a good thing.
- Try to stop worrying about my daughter – at least a little bit. I am right now consumed with her graduation, terrifying thoughts on substance abuse (I have NO proof but suddenly got this irrational worry in my head after reading Beautiful Boy that she might have inherited the addiction gene. I have spent weeks agitated over it. I see lots of pictures of her with alcohol. She works in the music business. I have this awful scary feeling. Since I don’t know her at all, I cannot assuage it. The worry and anxiety runs around and around in my head and heart like a gerbil on a habitrail)
- Stop reading so much. Lately the reading seems to be doing more harm than good (like causing me to become unduly concerned about my daughters ability to handle drugs and alcohol).
- Try food. A diet of yogurt, diet coke, vitamin water and the occassional Mike and Ike is not exactly brain powering delights.
- Find some brainless work to do. Maybe start making jewelry again.
I am open to suggestions. I am also open to you turning my car off if you see it idling nearby, mkay?