"I think that the majority of messages are validating
messages to confirm the survival of conscious. And many times that
validation message is negative or sad."
– John Edward
This weekend I completed my reading of Beautiful Boy: A Father’s Journey Through His Son’s Meth Addiction by David Sheff. Good stuff. I have family members that are addicts and alcoholics. It is not an easy life for the addicted or their families. David gave the families a voice in his book. I recommend it. (I also recommend Into the Wild by John Krakauer. Read that one a few days ago). I am going to lend it to my mother. I hope she reads it. She has gone through hell caring for (and at times enabling) two of her children. I suspect she will find much validation in the Sheff story.
I was surprised (okay, maybe not) to think about adoption through it. I have a great many thoughts ruminating as a result of this book read but had to share one quote from the book. It is a quote from Tolstoy.
Captured so neatly in this quote is the exact feeling of my reunion (and probably many others):
"One moment a spark of hope gleams, a sea of despair rages; and always, the pain, the pain, always the anguish, the same thing on and on." from Death of Ivan Ilych by Leo Tolstoy
This is the second time this phrase captured me. I read Death of Ivan Ilych a month or so ago. At that time I underlined the entire passage in the story.
That is adoption reunion. Hope gleaming. hope found in an email, in one word, in a photograph, in a kind gesture. Riding along side the hope is the despair, the pain. the anguish.
The same thing on and on.