"A man is judged by his deeds, not by his words" – A Book of English and Russian Proverbs and
Sayings by author M. Dubrovin, Moscow, "Prosvesheniye", 1993.
I asked Mr. Dink to consider contributing a post to my blog. He was kind enough to agree. It is below. It is limited in identifying information to protect his privacy and more importantly his daughter’s.
I do want to add that he is an adoptive father. The daughter referenced here is his oldest.
It really needs no further set up or explanation. You should see why I love him.
coming to live with you. I can’t take this any more!" Phone call from
my ex before she sent my daughter to stay with me after months of
agonizing mother-daughter infighting. She showed up on the train next
day, bag in hand.
pregnant. I’m not going to be a marine." Text message sent six feet from
the bathroom of my apartment to my living room.
don’t want to have this baby." Statement made in line at the local
Boston Market. Weeks of counseling and soul searching came before, and
a safe, well-considered abortion followed.
"Daddy, I’m pregnant… Three
months." Phone call a week after her graduation from Army basic
training. And then, "I won’t give this baby up. My first mom gave me
up. I won’t do that to another person."
It’s hard for me to place
dates on emotionally charged events. A little careful historical
research could probably sort them out, but that wouldn’t matter.
Messages like these define time more than they are defined by it.
glib comments or harsh judgments about the failure to use birth
control? Keep them to yourselves, please. I’m not your audience.
or sold at 5, adopted or bought at 7, ten years of intra- and
interpersonal turmoil, two pregnancies, two decisions. If you fail to
respect a young woman who has come through that and still finds it
within her power to care about herself and her child, the shortcomings
of person hood are yours. I hope that you will draw from her example and
She’s my daughter and I’m proud of her." copyright Mr. Dink, 2008