The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. ~Roseanne Barr
Clearly been down and struggling lately. Trying to stay up and perky when what I really feel like is staying in bed for days. Course, my old body doesn’t tolerate that. The hips hurt if I lay in bed for too long.
My mother has a philosophy on money. A religious person might say her phrase “The Lord will provide”. Her experience is that support, money, inspiration can come from the most unexpected places at the least expected times.
Cue my girls.
One of my ehbabes reunited moms learned of an expectant mom in crisis. Expectant mom had been considering adoption even though her parents were supporting her. She was getting heat from the father of the child, was anxious and nervous and worried. My ehbabes mom friend developed a relationship with her, shared her own story of adoption trauma and loss and expectant mom has decided to keep her baby! Moms from my ehbabes group (and perhaps even a few adoptees there) have contributed to an online baby shower for expectant mom. Car seats were sent across the country, clothing, gift certificates and more.
This is what should be and what should have always been for mothers like me. No mother should ever lose her child due to lack of support, fear, anxiety or lack of housing. Kids will always be life changing, will always be expensive, and you will always worry about your mothering ability not matter your age or marital status.
The best gift any mother can give her child is herself.
Hooray to us for preventing one more baby from getting fed into the american adoption machine only to spit out the other end with a new mommy, name and birth certificate!
I was so touched by my group of moms. The leader of the effort agreed with me that putting our efforts into helping others keep their children lessens the pain of the loss of ours. If something good can come out of my adoption trauma horror, let it flow far and wide.
In a separate area of my life, I heard from an old coworker. I hired this woman gosh, over ten years ago when she was a new college grad. She was bright, spunky, outrageously tall and thin and had the most pleasant personality. We touch base now and then and when I am in her DC area hood we try to connect. Today, in dialogue she tells me this:
“Please make sure to let me know, even if it is for a quick hug I would love to see you. I don’t know if you have any idea how much of an impact you made on me back when I was a 20-something spaz who thought I knew everything just out of college, but I still feel like if it wasn’t for you I would not have had as many successes and I am still very grateful. “
This just made my day.