Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again. ~Rosa Parks
During the almost three years of reunion with my daughter, I have often vented to family or friends how her behavior somtimes makes me feel. Without fail, every time I do this I hear the same thing:
“Oh, she is young. Give her time. You have more knowledge than she does about this stuff. She is only a kid. She is supposed to act that way.”
I greatly dislike hearing this. While all of that is true, does anyone see how dismissive this is?
How does my stating I am upset or hurt turn into an act of defending her? Why do my feelings get dismissed?
When I was a kid and my father would verbally abuse me, I would be told “Oh, he is an alcoholic he doesn’t know what he is doing. He is sick. He doesn’t mean it.”.
And that made it okay?
I am not looking for someone to defend her when I say my feelings are hurt or I am sad rather I am looking for someone to comfort me, to care about ME, not her. For someone to give me a hug and say they understand and my feelings are valid.
Sure, she has a right to be conflicted, angry, immature, and more in relation to our reunion.
But you know what? So do I.