In Utero Child Abuse

"Amid attempts to protect elephants from ivory poachers and dolphins
from tuna nets, the rights of children go remarkably unremarked." – Anna Quindlen

I have to say I thought I had seen and heard nearly all the horror stories in adoption. When you lose your child to a baby broker named Seymour Kurtz, when you help other Kurtz soul raped mothers find their babies, you hear a lot.

There is my friend Maggie who was drugged and tied in restraints when she tried to keep her son. While she was restrained, they removed her son from the hospital and later gave her a police escort to the county line. Only upon finding her son and reuniting with her son’s father, did she learn that her sons paternal grandfather was a friend of Seymour Kurtz.

My own story, of promissory notes and threats of lawsuits, also disturbing.

How about the mom that handed over her child to Easter House social wreckers in a McDonalds in downtown Chicago in the dead of night.  Said mom had no proof child was even hers but the agency took ownership.

The list goes on.

The latest adoption atrocity I learned of details a baby broker who completely and utterly manipulated a single, lonely girl and her unborn child. Girl was matched with adopters who wanted to select their child’s birth date. Yes, you got that right. The adopters wanted control over when the woman’s child was born. And they got it. Due to girl’s situation, total dependence on the baby broker, they got it.

They arranged with the broker to have the girl induced. Can you freaking believe this? I am so shocked and angry by this I cannot even write properly.

How dare they? How dare any adopter induce a pregnant woman?  I won’t even go into how abusive and disgusting and potentially life threatening it is to the mother. I will however mention that I feel immense sadness for the poor child who was being manipulated by adopters before she was even born. This poor child couldn’t even come into the world of her own accord. She had to arrive when the adopters wanted her to arrive.

I am big believer in birth psychology and babies remembering their birth.  I agree with primal wound theory and that separating a mother and child via adoption creates a permanent life long wound to the mother and child. But that happens AFTER birth. Can you imagine the child being forced by adoption before he is even born?  I don’t even know what to call that. Surely, it’s some form of wicked child abuse.

Will it ever end? Will the world ever stop harvesting the babies of single, poor uneducated women in the name of giving them a perceived “better chance” at life with wealthier, educated, infertile adopters?

Will we ever stop treating our children like commodities to be bought and sold?

Will we ever realize that another woman can raise and love a child but no one can replace the natural mother?

I feel sick.

4 Thoughts.

  1. I remember someone wrote in on my blog about a situation like that. They forced the woman to give birth at the adopters convenience and so she had a c-section. She changed her mind and the lawyer came in and got the hospital to harass her for the extra bills due to her SCHEDULED C-SECTION FOR THE ADOPTERS’ CONVENIENCE. She signed the papers. And the person who related this story hear it in the context of one of the adopters recommending her lawyer to another wannabe adopter.
    (See Shamhat’s comment, last on the entry here:http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2003/12/31/ok-this-bugs-me/)
    And of course someone defended that “position”:
    http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2004/01/06/comments-again/

  2. i’m sick of the silence. i”m tired of having to shut up so we don’t piss off the ad-parents, so that we don’t shake up the ground underneath them, us. it has already been shattered. it’s so much easier for people not to look at reality, it hurts less to sweep it under the rug. for people to tell us we should just focus on our children being happy and having loving families. i, too, was subjected to my child’s birthdate being chosen based on convienence for everyone else involved but me. i had no say in this. i was forced into labor one day when my body wasn’t ready so that the ad-parents could take my child from the hospital as soon as possible, the timing worked for them.
    i’m enraged. one day, this will come out in the open. not just on blogs, not just in private journals, but out in the wide, wide open. i’m going to continue to work at telling my story, writing it, telling to anyone who will listen. i will make it public. people will know.
    natural mothers will stop getting this bad rap and we need to do what we can to help mom’s keep their babies and keep the hands of baby brokers and the want to be parents hands they work with away from our babies.

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