"Sorrows and disasters are like the clouds that flit across the sky; they cannot injure the blue depths of space. Your duty is just to strive on from this very moment. Do not vacillate or postpone. Who knows when death knocks? May be, he may knock this very night, this very moment; therefore, do not delay. Do you postpone for tomorrow the dinner of this day! Feed the spirit as scrupulously as you now feed the body.” – Sri Sathya Sai Baba
There was a plane crash in my daughter’s neighborhood last night. My younger sister saw it on the news and called me. Asked me if I had heard from my daughter, if they were okay, etc.
I hadn’t known. I did not hear from my daughter. Why would I?
I googled the location of the crash in relation to her adoptive parents home and found its pretty close. So I wrote her to inquire if everyone was okay, if anyone they knew was hurt. I don’t expect to hear back. But I had to ask, had to express my concern. I reread the news and it appears as though only the pilot died, it was a small plane, landed in the driveway of a home, an empty home at that.
The crash made me think yet again about the atrocities of adoption. Even with our reunion, if something happened to my daughter last night, in the future, etc. I would have no way to know. No one would tell me. No one would call me. Time would go by. I would get no more emails. Then eventually, I would get curious, probably google, check newspapers, wonder what happened, find an obituary.
Imagine thinking you are just in reunion limbo/distance and your child or mother is actually dead?