"Every stress leaves an indelible scar, and the organism pays for its survival after a stressful situation by becoming a little older." – Dr. Seleye
Random things I think about:
Thought 1 – Why would any adoptee want to meet the biological family that discarded the adoptee and his/her mother?
Maybe that statement shows a bitter unforgiving side of myself but I gotta say, when I put myself in the shoes of an adoptee, I find myself hard pressed to want to run and meet the people that discarded my mother and myself. (And yes, this question comes to my mind over the past two years when I tried to understand my daughters lack of desire to meet).
Is this just me projecting and being ridiculous or do some adoptees actually think this?
Thought 2 – I often refer to myself as a survivor or a scrappy fighter. I am nothing compared to my daughter. She survived being surrendered at 3 days old, left with strangers, passed to more strangers, and left to grow up with even more strangers. She did this without the ability to feed herself, talk, or walk. Sure, they became her family and took care of her. But she took care of herself first.
(And I find that awful).
Thought 3 – Adoptees often have intense fear of abandonment (gee, I wonder why?). I wonder if this might make some prone to stay in abusive relationships? Or conversely, would it make some more prone to leave (better to leave than be left?). I also wonder the same thing about natural moms. Moms who have been abandoned, discarded, branded, who work so hard to be a "good girl". Would they stay in an abusive relationship versus leave?