Dilemmas

"Sometimes it takes years to really grasp
what has happened to your life" – Wilma Rudolph

For a few years now I have wanted a mothers ring.  No, not those big silly obnoxious gramma stones. Not the thing like my mother has. All set in yellow gold with  mish mash of birth stones. I wanted a custom ring. Something that I could design myself. And then put my childrens stones in it. It would be white gold or sterling (I dont wear yellow gold).

I have thought about this off and on for years. Usually around mothers day.  I decided I will do it and I think I found a place that can give me a rather unique ring with my childrens birth stones in it.

The vendor/design accomodates engraving of the childs name next to each stone. I like that sentimment but um, err, how do I put my daughter? Two names? Birth name? Her amended name?

God, I hate this shit.

I think I decided on doing their DOBs or nothing at all.

Amazing how adoption fucks with the natural order of the world and makes the simplest things so very complex.

7 Thoughts.

  1. What a lovely idea! Just for me I’d go with nothing at all for the engraving because I like simple designs. And you know the meaning. DOB might be handy as you get older. MY brain is just stuffed and it can get hard to keep things straight sometimes.

  2. This is a beautiful idea, Suz, and I know the ring will be beautiful. It’s just so sad that it had to be more complicated than you wanted it to be. When it’s done, though, I hope it gives you much happiness.

  3. Nice Idea! I think I would just do the stone thing too and leave out the initials.
    It is sad though that if you opted for the intials the simplicity of it would be taken by adoption.
    MSP

  4. I like the idea and I think you should do what gives YOU the most meaning/satisfaction. In spite of adoption, you can still enjoy the ring because nothing in this world can take away what it means to you.

  5. When you think of her…what name do you think of? Why can’t you use those initials? This ring is for you and no one else. I give my daughters biomom jewelry with the initials of the name she gave her because to her, that’s who she is.

  6. What about putting the name you gave her on the inside by itself and on the outside the boys’ names and the one she goes by now? Just a thought.

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