Jenna over at Stop, Drop and Blog had a great post about internal self-talk. I was struck by the honesty in her post as well as by the fact that many of her voices are so different from mine. This made me think about the root of those voices, how and why they vary. Generational? Jenna is younger than I am. Situational? Dispositional? And so on. (Yes, I spend a great deal of time pondering stuffs).
I will share some of my own voices with you. I hear these daily. They usually start the minute I wake from sleep but often occur in my dreams as well.
- You are fat and this means you are ugly.
- You are an imposter/poser.
- Your daughter will never want to know you. Who would want to?
- You are not a good mother to your sons.
- You should bake more.
- You should cook more for your family.
- You should feed your children a better diet.
- You should clean your house better/more frequently/differently.
- You should exercise.
- You should grocery shop regularly and use coupons.
- You will never write a book. Do not bother trying. Even if you did who would want to read it let alone publish it?
- You are too quiet/anti-social/introverted.
- You talk too fast.
- You are too candid.You should sugar coat things for people. Not everyone wants the cold hard truth.
- You should try harder with your daughter. Going away as she asked was the wrong thing to do. You left her again. You should have fought with her/for her.
- You try to do too much. What are you trying to prove and to whom?
- You need to learn to relax.
The items in bold I am actively working on addressing. The remainder, well, they will have to keep talking.
Do you talk negatively to yourself? Are your conversations similar to mine or to Jenna’s or completely different?