The Good Adoptee [Play]


I am so excited to share with you that my friend Suzanne Bachner’s play,  The Good Adoptee, is being performed by the amazing actress, Anna Bridgforth, and presented in November as part of the United Solo Theatre Festival on Theatre Row in New York City to coincide with Adoption Awareness Month.

The Good Adoptee is the true story of Suzanne’s search for her origins in the face of New York State’s sealed records. The play is anti-secrecy, anti-shame, pro-open records, pro-adoptee rights and pro-all parents.

The first just SOLD OUT ( Tuesday, November 3 @ 9PM ) and United Solo just gave Suzanne and the team an additional show: Saturday, November 14 @ 2PM. United Solo has a rich history as a producer and supporter of theatre by adoptees about adoption since its inception.

I am all over this and let Suzanne know I will be there. Will you?

For more information visit the play internet page.

Sibling Processing

My youngest son joins me in the family room and sprawls out on the couch to my left.  I notice he is wearing the new clothes I purchased for him. They look nice.

“You have your new pants on. They look good on you.  Are they comfy?”  I ask.

“Yeah. I like.”

He rolls over into an awkward position with his head resting on the arm rest looking at me.

“You know, Mom, I was just thinking. There are three people in our family I have never met. Two on Dads side and one here”

“Oh? “ I ask wondering what prompted this and where it is going.

“Grandpa Steve and let me guess, Aunt Stephanie?” I suggest.

Grandpa Steve died of brain cancer before my son was born, Aunt Stephanie died young of cystic fibrosis. Son is named after his grandfather and indirectly is aunt. Stefan, Stephanie, Stefan.


“Well, they may be gone but you are sort of like them.  So they are with you.  You are named after Grandpa Steve and even Aunt Stephanie.  Also, Grandpa was a builder like you.  You sort of know them.”

“Yeah, but there is one person here in our family too I don’t know.”

“Your sister?” I ask.

“Yup.  What’s her name again?”

“Well, I named her Amber but her name was changed. She is now called [amended name]”

“Why?  I like the name Amber.  And that is weird she has the same name as my cousin and my step sister.“

“Well, that is what happens when a child is adopted. The new parents change the name.”

“Why do they do that? She had a name.”

I do not respond.

“So she doesn’t have your last name?”

“No. She was adopted so her last name and first name was changed.”

“That is weird. “

I refrain from comment.

“Will I ever get to meet her?”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s weird too. To have a sister and not be able to know her.”

I refrain from comment. I simply have no words.

Meet me at AAC 2016!

Excited to announce that I have been accepted (along with my husband and two first mom friends) to present at American Adoption Congress 2016 Conference in Denver.

Our presentation is titled Mitigating & Managing Collateral Damage: Impact of Adoption on 1st Family. We are focusing largely on marriages and relationships for the first mother post surrender. Our goal is to get the community talking about the collateral damage of adoption – future husbands, wives, children and more. We will share personal stories and ways we managed. We will also offer suggestions for mitigating this damage for future first families.

I would love to talk to other first moms or dads about how surrendering your child affected your future relationships and marriage. If you are willing to talk, leave me a comment and I will email you and we can arrange a time to talk on the phone or chat online.

More to come on this topic as we develop our presentation.

And if you live in the Denver area and plan to attend, come to our session! My panel members include Denise of Second Chance Mother, Kathy Aderhold and my own husband (who has quite a unique perspective on how adoption affects a marriage).

Conference details for reference:

37th Annual American Adoption Congress International Conference

Trailblazing Change: Moving Mountains Together in Adoption

March 29 – April 2, 2016
Denver Grand Hyatt
1750 Welton Street in Denver, Colorado